|
|
Youth
As a ten year old, Jeanne spent most of the day reading from the Bible, giving no attention to other books. Deeply absorbed in Bible reading, she memorized long Scripture portions. (pp. 23-25)
Although Jeanne Marie loved her father, she also feared him and his volatile temper. At home it seemed as if everyone was against her - her mother, the servants, her younger brother. Jealousy, envy and strife grew in her heart as she tried, but failed, to cope successfully with her allegedly difficult role of family scapegoat. She was frequently blamed for her brother's mischief and the discord in the home.
She spent hours reading the Bible, meditating and praying in an effort to find the peace of God.
She desired more than anything else to know the will of God for the remainder of her life. The thought of giving herself wholly to God for His service entered into her thinking.
She would shut herself away from all other activities to fast, pray, study the Bible and read devotional books.
She wrote the word, "Jesus" in large letters on pieces of paper. Then with needle and thread and some ribbon she sewed this name to her skin in four places, allowing it to remain there under her clothes in painful penance to the Lord. This was only the beginning of a series of austerities Jeanne Marie inflicted upon herself in the years that followed. Attempting all the time to eradicate internal sin, she hoped to purge her body and soul from Satan's grasp. Wrong as it was, we have to remember that the Roman Catholic Church did advocate and encourage self-discipline of this nature among its adherents.... She prayed faithfully to the saints and to the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of Jesus, for the forgiveness of sins and the preservation of her soul from the torment of hell, went to confession often and took Holy Communion every two weeks at the nearby parish church.
|