The following fellowship given by Chuck Debelak is intended to lay out some basic principles of child development. It is not meant to be a seminar giving methods or techniques on “How to raise my children.”

We want to consider two key matters as we begin: our perspective of human nature and our thought concerning values. Both greatly determine how we will raise up our children. For instance, if we believe that “all children are good in their nature” then we may promote an unrestricted environment in order to develop creativity. On the other hand, if our philosophy is “children are bad in their nature” then we may promote a restricted and limited environment with our children. Both of these approaches has advantages and disadvantages. Therefore, we will discuss what the Bible says about human nature and how this applies to raising our children.

We also need to recognize two main schools of thought concerning “values.” One line emphasizes absolute truth in which there is a definite morality with right and wrong. The other line emphasizes values relativism in which there is no definite morality in terms of right and wrong, but morality is defined according to the situation and ones subjective judgment. The view we hold greatly effects the way we consider our children and how we respond to them in various situations.

How does the Bible view human nature? To answer this question we will consider four factors: man's creation, man's sinful nature, man's conscience and the law of God. First, according to Genesis 1:26, God made man in His image and His likeness. This implies that God has attributes and virtues and that He created man according to these attributes and virtues. Therefore, man possesses attributes and virtues that correspond to God Himself. God has attributes like love, righteousness, kindness, long-suffering and man's virtues correspond to these attributes.

Humans were created with the propensity to aspire for great things, but these things must be tapped, stimulated and brought out in our children. For instance, God is full of purpose and therefore, a child inherently has the capacity to become purposeful in his or her living. Yet, they must be trained in order to uncover and develop their sense of purpose. Children also aspire to love, to pursue, and to live a righteous life because they are God's creation in His image and likeness. All of these virtues show how we correspond to God in His creation. As parents we need to learn to inspire the positive virtues that exist within our children.

Second, the Bible teaches that man has a sinful nature. Romans 7:19-20 shows us that sin indwells all of us, compelling us and giving us inclinations that contradict the virtuous life within us. Therefore, we all exhibit such things as laziness, neglect, guilt, defensive reasoning and rebellion. These negative matters are more than just deeds or so-called wrongdoings. They are related to the sinful nature that all mankind inherited when Adam fell (Romans 5:12, 18-19). Thus, these matters must be quenched within our children.

Third, God created man with a conscience. When functioning properly, a child's conscience possesses a regulatory function (Romans 2:15), justifying them according to the good nature within them and condemning them based on the evil nature that also operates within them. The healthy conscience always works to adjust or turn a child back to the virtuous life within. Yet, this function only operates according to the extent to which the conscience has been trained. The word conscience comes from “con” meaning “with,” and “science” meaning “knowledge.” The way we train the conscience determines the knowledge by which it operates. That is why some people will feel condemned to participate in certain behaviors while others feel quite justified in the same behavior. Thus, parents should consider how the conscience operates and how they can nurture a good, healthy conscience that matches the good nature within the child.

Fourth, the law of God is an additional, crucial factor in a child's development. On the positive side, Psalm 19:7-8 says, “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statures of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.” The God who made us in His image speaks to us through His word, the Bible, and His speaking matches the pathway He created as good and virtuous. God's word will not violate the development and cultivation of man's highest potential. On the contrary, God's law uplifts the soul to its highest human virtue in which we can reach the potential God intended for us in His creation.

The law of God also includes many negative commands in order to restrict the “sin” indwelling us. In these cases, the law establishes warnings with consequences. For instance, when a person lies, is immoral or uses profanity, there is a judgment which issues from the law of God within them. This judgment is not a “lightning bolt” coming down out of heaven, but a “reaping of what one sows” (Gal. 6:7-10), implying a process over time, not just an incident. In other words, if one develops a sinful habit over time, it will also take time to undo the operation of the sinful nature and its effects. One does not just wake up and murder someone or rob a bank; it takes time to develop the capacity to override the innate law of God existing in all mankind. It will also take much time to undo such tendencies that were cultivated on the negative side, and the negative consequences may never be removed in our lifetime. Scars are an example of this.

God's intention is to restrict the growth of negative things and to encourage the growth of the positive virtues to their highest attainment. On one hand, His law protects all humans from the satanic nature that is destined to destroy our lives day by day. On the other hand, His law responds to and cultivates the high potential within every person. To see this dual nature of man in view of God's creation will help parents to nurture and discipline their children in the Lord.