Prayer: O Lord, we pray for the sisters that are here. Lord, we thank You for these sisters. At the same time, we pray for these sisters. Lord, we pray that You would enlarge us. Grant us that we could be so useful in Your recovery and in the testimony of our local church. Lord, we give our being to You. We say, "Lord, we are here for this." We are not here on this earth just for the family life, or just for our job, or just for something that we can enjoy. Lord, remember that we were gained by You here for one sole purpose, that we would be for Your recovery. We want to be for Your testimony. So Lord, our spirit is open. Our heart is open. Lord, if You have any word, if You have any encouragement, if You have any admonishment, we are here ready for You. Do speak to us. Do bring us to Your presence. Do bring us into the enjoyment of Yourself. Lord, do have Your way. We pray, be the Lord over us. Be the Lord over our family. Be the Lord over our local church. In the name of Jesus Christ, we offer our praises and thanks. Amen.

All the sisters who are wives need to have at least two realizations. Firstly, their existence came out of their husband's existence. This may be hard for wives to believe because all wives like to be themselves. But according to the Bible, Eve definitely came out of Adam. Without Adam, there would be no Eve. Without the husband, there would be no wife. The wife is born because the husband needs her. All wives need this realization, that on this earth the center of their life is not themselves. Today's culture and education would not agree with this statement. Today's culture would argue that this statement is in total disregard of women's rights. But the fact is that Adam was created first. Then Eve came out of Adam. Married sisters, in God's predestination, your husband was considered first. Then God said, "He is not sufficient, he needs help." So God built and prepared you as his wife. Without your husband, there would be no you. The wife is for the husband. This may be hard to take, but this is the fact.

The second realization a wife needs is that the man was created, but the woman was built. Something created may not necessarily be that detailed, but anything that is built is according to a blueprint. All husbands are born in a particular "shape," with a certain disposition and character. But the wife was built with the specific intention to meet her husband's needs. Married sisters, every part of you, even your disposition, is the way it is because your husband needs it that way. If a wife makes her husband nervous, she was made in this way because her husband needs it. The husbands should also hear this word, so that they will have no complaints about their wives. The wife was made in a specific way for the husband. Every aspect of the wife's person is because her husband needs her to be that way.

When the Lord created each husband, He considered how to transform that husband. The Lord's way to transform the husband is to build a woman. This woman would meet all the needs of her husband. If the husband needs tenderness, the wife will be very tender. If the husband needs a tough wife, the wife will be very tough. If the husband likes to eat, the wife may not know how to cook. If the husband likes a neat house, the wife may always mess the house up. The wife is someone whom the Lord pre-made to meet the needs of her husband exactly.

A wife can tell her husband, "Whether I am good or not, it is all your fault. If you were perfect, the Lord would not have built me in this peculiar way. Rather I would have been built in a wonderful way because you are wonderful. But because you are so crooked, with so many problems, with dispositional difficulties and shortcomings, therefore the Lord built me in a specific way just to be with you."

Anyone who has these two realizations is blessed. This will save the wives from their egos. A wife should not have any ego. Firstly, there is no need for the wife to try to make herself someone, because she was not born for herself. For a sister to assume her own spirituality is not healthy. It is also not healthy for a wife to assume that she is "somebody." The wife was simply built for the need of her husband. Secondly, because the wife was made for her husband, she was designed in a specific way. So you can be restful about your disposition because you were built to meet your husband's specific needs.

When the Lord first created man, He saw that it was not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18). So God built Adam a helpmate to meet his need. Eve's existence fully corresponded to Adam's need. Whatever Adam needed was built into Eve. If these two points are clear, we will be freed both from egoism and accusation. Satan will not be able to accuse us by saying that we are so bad and poor. If we are bad and poor, then this is what our husband needs.

After seeing these two points, we should go on to see that the wife was built to help her husband. The wife may have many shortcomings to meet her husband's needs. But sisters, you must realize that there are many ways to meet the needs of your husband. There are many ways to help your husband. If your husband is spiritual, then whatever you do according to who you are will meet your husband's needs. But the ways of helping are different. The Bible does not give us "the way." For example, Eve helped her husband, Adam, to eat the forbidden fruit. But that was not the right way to help him. Eve was built to help Adam, but that doesn't mean she knew the right way to be a help to him.

How you help your husband can make a big difference. For example, the church was built to help Christ. Even today in our sinful condition, we are still helping Christ. After we have made so many mistakes, we help Christ to manifest His wisdom. We are defeated, we commit sins, we get ourselves in trouble, but we shouldn't condemn ourselves. Rather, we should realize that this is a good help to Christ, to manifest how wonderful He is. But we cannot say that this is "the" help. The best help will come when the New Jerusalem is here. In the New Jerusalem, Christ will be fully manifested. Today we are the Lord's helpmate in a different way. When we make a mistake, we realize the Lord's love. When we are defeated, we find the Lord as our victory. When we get defiled, we realize that the Lord is our holiness. In everything we go through we experience this wonderful Christ. This helps Christ to be manifested. However, this is not the best help to Christ. We must see that help can be given in different ways and degrees. Firstly, a wife shouldn't have any ego, because she would not exist except for her husband. Secondly, a wife should realize that whatever she is in her personality and disposition is for her husband. Because of this she doesn't need to live a life under accusation and condemnation. Thirdly, a wife also should realize that she needs to be so positive in allowing the Lord to supply her spirit with His life, so that she can help her husband in a higher way.

Whatever a wife does, she is a help to her husband. Even if she yells at her husband or throws things on the floor, he gets the help. But "help" has different degrees. Here the wife does bear some responsibility to give the best help to her husband. Again, the church is a help to Christ. In whatever we do, we help Christ. Even in our failure, we help Christ to manifest His grace, His love, His power, and His life. But this help is not high, rather it is poor. It is a help, but not a rich help. The wives need to realize that there is a way to make their help to their husbands higher. Sisters, don't yell at your husband all the time, reasoning that whatever you do is a help to your husband. Your husband may take it, but he won't like it. His realization will be that he needs better help.

Sisters, to help your husband in a higher way, you must realize that every Christian, in order to have a healthy Christian life, must take care of his or her person. The "person" includes the body, the soul, and the spirit. Your husband is composed of a body, a soul and a spirit. He is also related to several kinds of lives, such as, the church life, the family life, and his occupational life. In a sense, the husband is involved in three small societies: church, home, and work. If you see how he is built, and what he is involved in, it will be easy for you to help him. Sisters, help your husband in his body, soul, and spirit. Help him to be healthy in the church life, family life, and work life.

Concerning his body, make sure you give him good food and good rest. All wives should try to learn this. "Good food" doesn't mean that you spoil him by only giving him what he likes. Feed him what is healthy and nourishing, because you are his helpmate and you have the right to do this. This is a wife's function. The husband needs this kind of care because he was created from the dust of the ground. All men are rough and rude. They do not know how to take care of themselves. Women were designed in a detailed way. Anything that is designed has a purpose. Wives were designed to help their husbands. You can help him to see that his body needs proper care. To help your husband care for his health is not a small thing.

A sister should not be so preoccupied with spiritual activities that she neglects her husband's health. When the husband is old and sick, it is the wife that will care for him. And the husband will care for his wife. So it is wise to begin caring for one another when you are young. This is not to encourage you all to become excessively health conscious. But in the church we should build a healthy atmosphere of caring for our husbands' health. A wife's first priority should be to care for her husband's and her family's health, because man is made up of body, soul, and spirit.

Then, you must learn how to care for your husband's soul. You may wonder why your husband doesn't care for you in the same way. But you were specifically designed to meet your husband's needs, not the other way around. Everyone's soul has a certain capability, and a certain limitation. A good wife should learn not to drain her husband's soul, because if she drains his soul in one area, his soul will be lacking in another area. Each person's function of the mind, emotion and will can only go so far. Even a great soul has limitations.

Samson and Delilah show us an example of a wife draining her husband's soul (Judg. 16:4-20). Delilah wanted to know the secret of his great strength, but Samson would not tell her. So she wept and begged, until he couldn't handle it anymore, and told her. The Bible records that his soul was tired to death (Judg. 16:16). When a wife doesn't know how to help her husband, and she drains her husband's soul, he is in trouble. This sometimes happens when a wife puts too much pressure on herself. Not only does she become frustrated but her condition can affect her husband. For this reason she should exercise to be free from condemnation and not put pressure on herself.

Sisters, just be simple. Try not to drain your husband's soul. Give him some rest. There will be times when you will be bothered and upset. But try not to make it a habit to drain your husband's soul. If a husband comes home, and every night his wife is upset and has many things for him to take care of, he cannot rest. This will drain his soul. Sisters, help your husband to develop the functions of his soul instead of draining his soul. Help him to develop his emotion, mind and will. The bigger a soul is, the more it can be used by the Lord.

I am not saying this to pressure the wives. I repeat that you were designed for your husband. Whatever you do is right for your husband. But on the other hand, within yourself you must realize that you need to help your husband. Firstly care for his health, and secondly, upgrade his soul. The wives should learn to be for their husband, one with their husband, and even make an effort to develop their husband more. Wives should learn to pray for their husband. Pray that his soul would be upgraded, that he would aim higher, that his heart could be enlarged. Pray that he could have a healthy soul for the Lord's use.

On the other hand, you shouldn't push your husband beyond his capacity. Each person is made differently. Yet you can still help your husband to enlarge his soul for the church life. Because the soul is limited, every time you bother your husband you are reducing his soul quality. In the church life, we emphasize the need to use our spirit, but our spirit is released through our soul. If our soul is drained, it is hard to release our spirit. For example, if we spend all afternoon watching TV, it will be very hard for us to exercise our spirit afterwards. Sisters, learn to pray in the midst of your failures. Don't condemn yourself when you lose your temper. But within you, you should aim to grow in life, so that you may have a proper spirit to help your husband upgrade his soul. Even your husband's being positive toward the church has a lot to do with you as his wife.

Lastly, you must learn to help your husband feed his spirit. For example, a wife can help her husband by regularly reading spiritual books. Even if he just wants to relax and read magazines, his wife's example will help him so that eventually he too will read something more healthy. This is the best way to help your husband feed his spirit. No person is completely good or completely bad. We all have our strong points and our weaknesses. We should develop the strong points. As wives, learn to live in the Lord's presence for your husband's sake. Realize that if you are in the Lord's presence, your husband will be in the Lord's presence. Sisters, learn this lesson before the Lord. Not only should you care for your husband's body and upgrade his soul, but you also need to feed his spirit. The more you can feed your husband's spirit, the more useful your husband will be in the church life and the more healthy he will be. This is not a small thing.

However much we may have failed in the past, we should at least have a sense of our need to be in spirit. Sisters, don't say that since you were designed for your husband, then no matter how you fail your husband will get the help, so you will just be who you are. Within your conscience, you should have the realization that you are your husband's helpmate. The help you render can be in different degrees, so you should desire to render your husband the highest degree of help.

For the husbands to feed on their spirit is not a small thing. Whether the church is healthy or not has a lot to do with whether or not the sisters know the secret of how to bring their husbands to their spirit. If many sisters don't know how to take care of their husband's body and soul, it is still okay. But if the wives don't know how to help their husbands be in spirit, the church is in trouble. So, sisters, you must learn to be in spirit. When you are in spirit and enjoy the Spirit, it will be easy for your husband to be in spirit.

Be diligent about how you can render your husband the best help by caring for his body, upgrading his soul, and feeding his spirit. This requires one thing: don't be lazy. You may have many shortcomings which are not to be condemned or judged. But laziness is not right. Many times we are lazy, so we cannot render our husbands the help they need. Because of our laziness we are not positive about things. Sisters who get lazy may sit and think about how bad their husband is, how they were wronged by another sister, how poor and lonely they are. But a wife who is positive to feed her husband's spirit, or even just to enjoy a message in the Life-Studies, will not have time to think about such things. Often we are weak because we do not exercise our spirit, so we allow our being to be consumed by our self and our self-love. Then we imagine all kinds of wrongs people have done to us, and even all kinds of illnesses. This happens because we are lazy and do not allow ourselves to be occupied properly.

As a wife you must realize that your existence is because of your husband. You must also realize that you were built in a detailed way to meet the needs of your husband. God designed both your strengths and your weaknesses with your husband in mind. Therefore, whatever you do is a help to your husband, both positively and negatively. But it is best to help your husband positively, by helping him in his person - body, soul, and spirit - and in his environment - church life, family life, and work life. For this, you must be diligent and positive in the Lord.