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The Parents' Responsibility
[This brief message was shared at a Parent's dinner given by junior high and high school young people in Detroit, April 2001]
 I would like to share some of my experience of serving the Lord this past year.
 Let me begin by making a statement: “Serving Ones” are a blessing, not a replacement
 Some Christians use different terms like Serving Ones or Youth Director or Youth Minister or Youth Coordinator for those who take care of our young people.
 I am sharing as a parent with a teenager and two more children, not only as a serving one or youth coordinator.
Ephesians 6:3-4
And FATHERS, do not provoke your children to anger, but NURTURE THEM in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.
 The responsibility of raising our children physically, psychologically and spiritually primarily before the Lord is the parents, not the serving ones.
 We all easily relate to the part about raising them physically and even somewhat to the part of raising them psychologically, but the matter of raising our children spiritually is often left to the church.
 As we can see from Ephesians, the Lord accounts to the parents, represented in the verse by fathers, the responsibility of nurturing the children in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.
Proverbs 1:8
Hear my SON, the instruction of your FATHER, and forsake not the teaching of your MOTHER; for they shall be a wreath of grace unto your head, and necklaces around your neck.
My SON, if you receive my words, and lay up my commandments with you, so that you incline your ear unto wisdom and you apply your heart to understanding … then you shall understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. (Proverbs 2:1-3)
 The book of Proverbs is basically a father teaching his son the proper human life through the dispensing and receiving of the wisdom of God.
 The source of a child's understanding the Lord and knowing the Lord is mainly from the parents.
Hebrews 12:5-6
And you have completely forgotten the exhortation which reasons with you as with SONS, ``My SON, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when reproved by Him; 6 For whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every SON whom He receives.'' 7 It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with SONS. For what SON is there whom the FATHER does not discipline?
 When dealing with us, the Lord often stresses that He is a Father to us and we are His children. There are many scripture references both in the Old Testament and the New Testament supported this matter.
Deuteronomy 6:5-9
And you shall love the LORD thy God with all your heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6 And these words, which I command you this day, shall be in your heart: 7 And you shall teach them diligently unto thy children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 And you shall bind them for a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 And you shall write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
 According to these verses the main place where we practice loving the Lord with all our heart, with all our soul and with all our might is in our homes! This surely implies the parents' role in nurturing their children in their homes to love the Lord.
 According to these verses the main place where we will live and experience the church life practically is in our homes especially with our spouse and children
HOW ABOUT OUR CONCEPT?
 The term "serving one" or Youth Worker, Youth Minister, etc. in regard to “Junior High” “High School” and even “college” is not found in the Bible. It is our invention based on a particular need. The Bible does refer to the Levites (the “serving ones”) in the Old Testament dispensation who served the priests and took care of all the practical matters surrounding the tabernacle and the temple. It is sound to extrapolate the Levitical service to include our present day need of serving the young people.
 However, we cannot ignore the principle clearly and strongly presented throughout the scriptures of parents nurturing their own children in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.
Parents, is it possible that we have allowed “serving ones” to replace us in our role of raising our children, especially spiritually? Consider Deuteronomy 6:5-9 in terms of today:
And you shall teach them diligently unto thy children,
Do we teach our children diligently about all the truths of the Lord? God looks at the parents as the primary agents of bringing young ones to the Lord Himself.
Talk of them when you sit in your house,
Do we talk about the Lord and His law when we sit at home? That is, when we are with our own family? The home atmosphere should be such that children can sense the Lord's presence.
Talk of them when you lie down, and when you rise up.
Do we talk about them when we lie down … which is most likely at home?
Do we talk about them when we rise up … which is most likely at home? It seems that morning and evening are prime times to instill spiritual insights and tastes for Christ into our children.
8 And you shall bind them for a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 And you shall write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
Are we writing down the Lord's word in our children's hearts in our house?
Let's be practical: in the past I have held to and spoken remarks which the Lord has convicted me about especially in the past year. These comments are related to those who serve our young people, our children:
Serving ones ought to study the Bible with the young people. The young people really need to know the Bible.
 Of course, to study the Bible and know the Bible is good, but ...
 My response as a parent is: "Am I teaching my own children to study the Bible at home with me?"
Serving ones should help the young people to exercise their spirit especially in the meetings.
 Again, to exercise ones spirit to touch the Lord is healthy anytime, but ...
 My response as a parent is: "Am I helping my own children exercise their spirit at home?"
Serving ones must develop relationships with the young people so they will feel comfortable to talk about personal matters when they feel they can't talk to their parents.
 My response as a parent is: "Am I developing open communication with my own children at home?"
 I recognize the difficulty of the so-called “teenage” years, but I also recognize the need for my wife and I to pray desperately for our children and for our relationship with them to be more open to us because God gave them to us to raise and we have the most love towards them in our hearts. We, as parents, also know and consider their well-being and best interests more than anyone else.
When I send my children to school I want to know what they are learning, what the environment is that they are subjected to, what is the basis and view of the education system that is effecting my child. I want my children to be occupied with healthy, normal things such as sports, playing instruments, clubs, community service ... all for their well-being and proper upbringing as a human being.
 How about their spiritual well-being? Do I pay at least as much attention to their spiritual growth and development?
 Do I know the serving ones who influence my children? Do I know what they are covering with my children because what they are teaching my child must fit in with what the Lord has committed to me for my children? Am I able to build a foundation of spiritual awareness and growth with my own children so that others can build on that foundation?
Taking a Sober look:
Many of our second generation desire to love and follow the Lord BUT ...
 They don't know how because they do not know their spirit and have never been taught one on one and hand in hand by us as parents
 They may not talk to us as parents because we seem too different from them because we have inadvertently separated our church life from them … remember Deuteronomy 6:5-9; Pray over Deuteronomy 6:5-9
 They may feel that we are not approachable, showing that we stress the so-called spiritual side of God, especially meetings (which they usually do not like) without manifesting the uplifted humanity of the Lord Jesus in our daily lives
I would ask us all to pray and consider before the Lord our commitment from the Lord: OUR children. Once we come to the Lord and find His will and leading for us with our own children then we can better work with others called “serving ones” to raise up our children.
Brothers and sisters, serving ones are a blessing, not a replacement
Precious Lord take my hand
Lead me on, help me stand
I am tired, I am weak, I am worn.
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on in the light.
Take my hand, Precious Lord, lead me on.
I sang this song about a month ago and I couldn't hold back the tears. I reasoned that this song was religious because it seems so outward: “take my hand” and “Help me.” And then the Lord reminded me of my own children and how they need daddy to take their hand, to walk with them hand in hand, to lead them hand in hand, to teach them hand in hand, to help them hand in hand… and most importantly to help them love and follow the Lord HAND in HAND.
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