Basic Principles of Parenting
[This message was transcribed and edited from a conference given by Chuck Debelak in Detroit, Michigan, in October 2000. Mr. Debelak has not reviewed this document in its edited form.]
To follow Christ we must proceed 100% according to the principles laid down in God's Word. However, to know the Word as the Lord interprets it (cf. 2 Peter 1:20-21), we must seek the Lord to know the Spirit in the Word. This will allow us to know how to practically carry out what the Word says in our daily life. Why do I say this? Because only God knows what kind of a father we need to be, what kind of a mother we need to be and what kind of a husband and what kind of a wife we need to be. The Word gives us broad principles to follow, but we still must seek the Lord Himself for light and revelation in our practical living as to how to carry out these principles in our particular situations.
Brothers and sisters, we need to stress the matter of seeking the Lord in His Word for our daily life. Why? Because every believer has a tendency to pick up “things” according to their preference and understanding and not according to the Spirit's leading. We take things and we make them our way. We try to utilize things other people do and may even impose what we do on others. This only causes frustration in the long run. Doing things our own way even if “politically correct” according to the scriptures doesn't match what the Lord is doing within us for our life. We do need to know the principles in the Word; and there are always principles to meet every need and every situation. But we should realize that God made these principles very broad. His Word is not “one size fits all. If it works for them it will work for me. If it works for me everyone else should do it also.” No. The Lord Jesus desires all His regenerated people to seek Him in only one way: the Spirit according to the Word. This is critical. The Lord is recovering a group of people on the earth who are always seeking Him in the Spirit and according to the Word.
Let's apply this to raising our children. To know how to raise our children, the number one factor is seeking Christ. Otherwise we will not and cannot know how to raise our children. We can apply this principle to every area of the church life as well. First we seek to know the principles in the Word and then we have to seek the living Christ for personal realizations of all those principles in our own living.