Husbands Assuming Responsibility as the Head

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 We should respond to such a verse with, “As the husband and father, this is my family.  Just like Christ would look at His Body, at His church, and say, `This is my family.'  I am going to do whatever I need to do to set a direction for my family that it becomes a healthy family physically, psychologically and spiritually.  This is my responsibility as a husband, so I am not casual about it; it is not a part-time responsibility, but God gave me this wife and these children.  This is my family; I am the head, and I am going to set the proper direction before the Lord.” </div> <bR> <div>      Our family becomes the center and focus of importance to us as husbands.  It is more important than our career.  When young people desire to get married I always like them to put off their marriage as long as possible.  Why?  I tell them as a person you should fulfill as much of your career desires as possible by getting as much education or training as you can.  When you get married your priorities need to change.  We are no longer primarily for our career and livelihood.  As soon as you get married you have become the head of your household and it is your responsibility to take care of your family that it becomes the best you can possibly make it.</div> <bR> <div>      Our family bears the testimony of who we are!  The husband sets the direction with the family, with the wife and children.  Whether we like it or not, brothers, our family testifies to who we are:  good or bad.  This should change our attitude right away.  If we are casual about our marital responsibility, “Well, whatever happens happens.  The way my kids turn out and the marriage life turns out is not so much up to me.”  This issues in a kind of reactive attitude.  When there is a problem you react and do something.  When there is a problem with the kids then you do something.  This is reactive.  But the Bible doesn't teach about reactions.  The Bible says that the husband is just like Christ!  Wow!  The Lord's attitude is so different from being reactive.  He looks at all of His believers and determines to do everything that they might bear the testimony of who He is.  “I will die for them.  I will suffer for them.  I will give my life to them all for the purpose of gaining a testimony of who I am.”  Husbands need to transfer this attitude to the marriage life.</div> <bR> <div>      The Lord in Ephesians 5:22 tells the wife to submit to her husband in a definite context:  “<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Times New Roman" >Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord FOR a husband is the head of his wife as also Christ is the Head of the church</FONT>.”  Even when the Lord tells the wife to submit there is a context.  For us to submit to the Lord as the Head is a realization, “No one in the whole universe wants the best for me as much as Jesus Christ.  He is my Head.”  So when things happen that we may not understand or seem abnormal or difficult, we realize that our life is in the Lord's hands and He knows what is best for us and He will produce what He wants in us.  He's the top.  So what do I do?  I submit to Him because I know that He is the top.  Thus the first qualification of the husband is to “take the reins.”  The more the husband gives the sense of care for the family, love for the family, direction for the family and commitment to the family, there is something God-created within the wife that makes her want to stand with her husband.  She feels that the family is going somewhere in the most positive sense.  This also applies with the children.  The children are always so proud of their dads particularly when the father has leadership and direction for the family.  His spiritual attainment and knowledge is besides the point to them.  They realize, “I know how much dad loves us.  I know how much dad loves the family.  I know how much dad is for the family.  I know how much dad will do everything for the family.”  Then automatically there is a submission that is brought into the rest of the family.</div> <bR> <div>      Sometimes we want our wife to submit and we want our children to submit, but subconsciously there is a shortage of leadership.  The family will not articulate that, but it is like they are saying, “I need someone to follow.  I need an atmosphere that is going forward, that is for something positive.”  We often quote Joshua 24:15, “As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”  Who creates such a feeling?  The kids cannot create it.  Even the mother cannot create that kind of atmosphere in the family.  This is the father's role:  to take the headship and lead the family so that it bears some kind of testimony.</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id403.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Wifes Need in her Emotions"><U>The Wife's Need in her Emotions</U></A></div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>