The Lord said that He loves the church, but how? He gave Himself up for her! This is so touching. The Lord's model for everything in the human life is so wonderful. How many opportunities to experience Christ are lost because we do not know what Christ is after. Once we see the husbands relationship to the wife we say, “Lord Jesus, I need You. Only You live this way.” In this case in Ephesians 5:25, the Lord loves the church to the extent that He would give Himself up for her. In other words, the Lord will tell us and even we have had this experience: we go through a difficulty or hardship, and the Lord will always come to us and remind us that He also went through something like what we are enduring as a man. I am not asking you to do anything that I have not also gone through already. I gave Myself up for you. I could have just told you or ordered you to follow Me, but I didn't. I paid whatever price was necessary so that I would make sure you would be sanctified, you would have the life supply that would allow you to press on.”

Do we see this picture? This is the kind of commitment that a husband should give towards his wife. Whether it is concerning her body, we do whatever we can to ensure her health and strength. If it concerns her psychology, we consider her person holistically, emotionally, psychologically. The husband will consider whether she is doing okay after taking care of the kids all day or working. Is she growing humanly? Is she developing in her humanity? Is she happy, buoyant or pressured? Husbands will be watchful. This kind of commitment strikes at the heart of brothers because we tend to be absolute in an ethereal, mystical way, expecting the wives to “get in line and move” without any care for her feeling or condition. Very seldom we have the thought that it is my job as a husband to ponder her well-being psychologically. Sometimes it is very difficult to pinpoint where a woman is at psychologically. I think the Lord allows this for our growth. We may ask her, “Would you like this, honey?” And she retorts, “No!” Then we try again with, “How about this?” Again a sharp, “No!” We extend our last bit of loving kindness to ask, “Do you want to go somewhere?” until she rejects our latest proposal. Then we bark back with, “What do you want anyway?” This surely is not the Lord. No, the Lord will find a way to live His life through such a rebellious believer who does all kinds of things apart from Him. So the Lord tries one way and then another way and on and on with way after way. Why? Because He is committed to us. He is the husband and we are the Bride. Therefore, He doesn't say, “I'm going off to war the good warfare whether you like it or not and whether you can handle it or not.” No, He is watchful, considerate and thoughtful toward us.

Sometimes a brother seems, and may be, so positive for the church life and spiritual things, but there are all sorts of problems on the home-front. How can this be? Christ is not like this. Christ will not say, “I've got no time for the church in Detroit or Westland or Ann Arbor. I'm moving on. I'm going to Russia or Eastern Europe, and if you don't make it, too bad. You bunch of wimps.” No, He's a doting husband. “Is everything okay? Do you need anything? Oh, you don't look so happy.” His heart is so big towards His Bride just to make sure that she is being sanctified. And look how broad He is often times. He uses such a variety of ways because of our personalities, our educational backgrounds, and our cultural backgrounds to gain what He is after in us. He cares for our psychological well-being in so many ways. He might give us a trip away, a special gift just to make sure we are okay, refreshed, and revived. Many times these things are not spiritual at all, but so human. He may allow something to occur which we seemingly don't need, but it sure feels good, uplifts us and refreshes us to love Him again. He's a true husband to us.

Let's draw a parallel of the Lord's love as a husband to our own. Once we begin to exercise like this we begin to realize that there are lots of little things toward our wives that make her happy, satisfied, refreshed and willing to go on; things like flowers, a card, taking her to lunch, a phone call, a love letter. We're not promoting any of these things as “ought to dos,” because it always happens in different ways according to the Lord's leading. We find a way in our home with our wife to ensure her security, care and feeling that her husband would do anything for her. Finances are a big thing in marriage. Finances are the number one reason given for divorce, showing that everyone worries about money. We need to love our wife to the point that money never becomes an issue in our marriage. Sometimes she hints in a small way to buy a certain things, and we jump all over her. “Do you know how much that costs?” This tends to be a husband's response unless it is something for him. Can we touch the Lord's feeling and attitude towards us, His Bride? Brothers, do we create this same kind of atmosphere in our home? This demands a constant struggling before the Lord. Previously, we may never have even prayed for our wife unless in a dire emergency, but now we should pray all the day, “Lord, is there anything she needs? Anything physically? Anything psychologically? And anything spiritually?" We should surely care for our wives as good as if not better than we care for a new believer that we desire to see grow in Christ. We always ponder and consider if everything is okay.