3:1 In like manner, wives, be subject to your own husbands, that even if any disobey the word, they will be gained without the word through the manner of life of their wives, 2 Seeing with their own eyes your pure manner of life in fear. 3 Let your adorning not be the outward plaiting of hair and putting on of gold or clothing with garments, 4 But the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptible adornment of a meek and quiet spirit, which is very costly in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner formerly the holy women also, who hoped in God, adorned themselves, being subject to their own husbands, 6 As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; whose children you have become, if you do good and do not fear any terror.

The matter of quietness seems quite harsh for women especially in a society filled with feminism. But God is not being harsh or unreasonable. On the contrary He is protecting His interest and His created vessel in order to ensure people on the earth who will carry out His purpose. For sisters to learn in silence and to be in all subjection is for them to realize their position as women. This safeguards the sisters from the presumption of overstepping their position in the local church and bringing unnecessary temptation upon themselves.

The apostle Peter refers back to Eve's fall in the garden of Eden. As soon as a woman stands out it becomes a problem. This often creates problem in the marriage because she may see things better than her husband, she may have better insight than he does, and the tendency is to stand out. Eve was deceived by the serpent (Gen. 3:1-6) because she did not remain in subjection under the headship of Adam but overstepped her position to contact the evil tempter directly without her head being covered. Man's headship is woman's protection. (see 1 Timothy 2:9-15)

To stand out brings the imminent danger of Satan's temptation just as with Eve. We need to learn from history. The woman's covering is her husband. She is covered from Satan's attacks and temptations. Even a poor husband is a good covering to his wife! We are not referring to abuse cases or abnormal matters, but to situations where the husband lacks good judgment or is too wild, etc. One example of this was the case of a whimsical husband who always had some new crazy idea to try. The wife in the Lord's presence decided to support him in whatever he did (not sinful things). It took ten years of this kind of submission, but eventually they are serving the Lord with their full-time. She did not want to stand out on her own.

Peter tells the wife to seek not to stand out but to pray. Wives can seek Christ to have a spirit of quietness even when things are not right. A striking fact concerning wives and sisters is that nearly all the growth of the churches the Lord raises up comes through the sister's prayer individually or as a group. It is truly a blessed thing for sisters to gather together and pray for the Lord's economy on purpose in a locality and on the earth. Sisters who learn this lesson will not gather to gossip because they know the temptation and danger that exists. So many things go wrong in the church and so many “strange” brothers lead the church, and even servants of the Lord come with strange teachings that the Lord needs the sisters to support and bear His testimony in prayer. Gossip only opens sisters to Satan's attack and to his deceit over them.

1 Peter 3:4 speaks of wives having the “hidden man of the heart in the incorruptible adornment of a meek and quiet spirit, which is very costly in the sight of God.” That the hidden man of the heart has the incorruptible adornment of a meek and quiet spirit indicates that the meek and quiet spirit in us is the hidden man of our heart. Our heart is composed of all the parts of our soul·--mind, emotion, and will·--along with the main part of our spirit·--the conscience (Heb. 4:12). Among all these, our spirit is at the center; hence, our spirit is the hidden man of our heart. As wives, the sisters in the Lord should have as their adornment before God their inner being·--the hidden man of their heart, which is adorned with a meek and quiet spirit. This spiritual adornment is very costly in the sight of God, and it is incorruptible, not like the material adornment of the plaiting of hair or the putting on of gold and garments, which is corruptible.

We want to emphasize the good works which are good works led by the Spirit and minister grace to others. Have we ever ministered grace by giving cookies or bread to someone? Sisters do a lot of this. Actually the heart of the healthy church life are sisters led by Christ in their prayer to fill their family, their extended family and to fill the church with good works. They may get a burden for another family who has for kids and give the parents a night out. This ministers grace to people. Sisters will cook food and take it to someone, and grace is ministered again and again in this way. People may not show it directly, but aren't we touched deeply when someone shows genuine care in such a practical way to us? Who would imagine the grace that can exude from a tuna casserole!

Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God's masterpiece. We like the part about being God's masterpiece. And this masterpiece is created in Christ Jesus. We like that also. Then the next phrase says, “For good works.” Isn't this interesting? We may take this in a doctrinal way: “Oh, yeh, good works are preaching the gospel, having a Bible study or…” But good works are good works out of the Lord's leading in our seeking of Him. Galatians backs up this thought in 6:10, “Do good to all men, but especially those of the household of faith.” These good works are from being led by the Lord to minister grace to others. We are not for raising up soup kitchens or prison ministries apart from God's economy. Peter admonishes the sisters not to get involved with the right and wrong's of the church or your husband, but to focus their energy and attention to contact the Lord through prayer and to fill my family with good works. Many times sisters can be led to support their husband in a variety of ways rendering life to them in their pursuing of Christ; in the way you cook, in what you cook, in the way you dress and treat him and your children. Proverbs 31 models a virtuous woman filled with good works in her family and eventually caused her family to become a beautiful testimony of the Lord's operation. The husband takes the leadership and the wife's hard work is the base of his operation.

The testimony of the sisters, the wives, is in her good works, not her so-called spiritually. I have seen some sisters wanting to be so-called spiritual. They exhibit a certain demeanor that they are “spiritual.” The genuinely spiritual sisters in the church life are hidden because they are filled with inward prayer, with quietness and all kinds of works that minister grace to others. 1 Timothy 2:12 the apostle Paul says, “But I do not permit a woman to teach or to assert authority over a man, but to be in quietness.” To teach here means to teach with authority, to define and decide the meaning of doctrines concerning divine truth. For a woman to teach in this way or to exercise authority over a man is to leave her position. In God's creation man was ordained to be the head, and woman to be in subjection to man (1 Cor. 11:3). In the church this ordination should be kept.

Women are saved through childbearing (1 Timothy 2:15). Childbearing is a suffering. Suffering restricts and protects the fallen one from transgression. In bringing forth the child there certainly is the suffering but also the constant struggle to do good works to our children all their life. The woman must gain so much grace in raising their children. Sometimes it seems a mother raising three or four children her whole life is as least twice as spiritual in strength and insight as the husband who may serve the Lord in the church.

1 Timothy 2:9-10 says, “Similarly, that women adorn themselves in proper clothing with modesty and sobriety, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 But, what befits women professing godly reverence, by good works.” Sobriety refers to sobermindedness (2 Timothy 1:7), self-restraint; the restricting of oneself soberly and discreetly. The sisters in a local church should clothe themselves with these two virtues -- shame fastness and self-restraint -- as their demeanor. This is also mentioned in 1 Timothy 2:15. Shame fastness means to be bound or made fast by an honorable shame, implying not forward or overbold but moderate, observing the proprieties of womanhood.