As a suffering child with asthma, I often contemplated the purpose of life. Several times because of my asthmatic condition, I almost died. Thus, I saw a darker part of life that my siblings missed.

As I grew, the asthma subsided, and I vowed silently to enjoy all I could of life. Movies, symphony concerts, sports - all were my preoccupations besides school work. When I went away to college, I did the things a lot of students did, including drinking, etc. My life seemed fulfilled.

I remember one night lying alone in my dorm room; it all finally caught up with me: the boredom, the futility, and the emptiness. And the question went over and over in my head, “Is this all there is?” At this time of my life, my twin sister had “got saved” and would come to implore me to receive Jesus into my life. I would mock her during these times and was adamant that I did not need religion or Jesus at all. But each time she left, sometimes crying strongly, I would look deep within myself and realize my pitiful, empty condition.

Finally, my defenses came down, and I went to a Christian convention with my twin sister. In a small Bible study group I heard for the first time that we are all sinners; good or bad, wicked or honorable, all are considered sinners by God, and are in desperate need of salvation. I finally spoke to the Lord, that if He would let me feel my sins, I would believe in Him and repent. Well, I started to feel a very heavy load, so much that I couldn't sleep. I knew then, without a doubt that my destiny was hell. I went to an empty room and opened a Bible to 2 Corinthians 5:21, "He who knew no sin was made sin for us..." The Lord entered my heart and filled the void within me. Now, after 30 years, He is with me each day, and in every situation of my life. He has made my life meaningful. Hallelujah! God is real and He lives in me!

My health, it's a long road and there really are no "quick-fix" methods to my health problems. I am not where I need to be, but, thank God, I am not where I used to be. I'm okay, and I'm on my way to recovery. My healing process reminds me of 2 Corinthians 3:18 where the Apostle Paul speaks of us being transformed "From one degree of glory to another." As seeking Christians, we are constantly growing throughout our lifetime. We never stop progressing.

I've definitely had my ups and downs, but I made a decision to enjoy the Lord and the stage of life as it comes because each has joys and trials uniquely its own. As I'm going through the difficult process of healing, the Lord has encouraged me to enjoy the degree of "glory" I'm currently experiencing as I move toward the next degree or level.

For too many years I've been going through one ordeal after another with my health (that basically is my life) and I never allowed myself to enjoy any aspect of it. I always focused on how difficult the present stage was and how far the distance I had yet to go. However, the Lord is adjusting my view and appreciation by causing me instead to look at how far I have come! I have a life to live while I'm being healed. I have a life to live while I'm being transformed and I'm going to enjoy every part of that life to reach each new level of victory. NG