Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but nurture them in the discipline and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

2. The Lord warns against provoking our children to anger - meaning that many parents must have been provoking their children among the saints in Ephesus. It must have been commonplace for the Apostle Paul to address the matter.

We have a tendency to allow the "serving ones" (Youth Minister, Youth Coordinator) to deal with the spiritual matters with our children.

One major reason that we delegate our spiritual responsibility to the serving ones is that the "teen" years are stressful, especially in terms of communication between parent and child.

I wanted us to notice this phrase in particular because the Lord has convicted me very much in the matter of raising my children, especially spiritually.

The Lord exposed my delegation of spiritual responsibility with my children and how I so often provoke them to anger.

One way we provoke our children to anger is by forcing them "under the law" without the grace to live it. Our children are not spiritually mature enough to find grace from their personal relationship with the Lord in order to keep the high standards of Christ. We, as parents, must supply this grace in our living and in our care for our children.

The Lord purposefully had Paul write the term, "nurture," as the central thought in spiritually raising our children.

The Lord asks us parents to cherish our children - to warm their heart, to make them feel so accepted and received no matter what - this is a "mother's heart" ("We were gentle in your midst, as a nursing mother would cherish her own children" - 1 Thessalonians 2:7)

The Lord also asks us to nourish our children spiritually - this is to feed them, to supply them, to shape them positively

The Lord desires us to raise our children according to the highest standard set forth in His word and according to His economy.

In a simple way, the discipline and admonition of the Lord should include the following 5 matters as a minimum:

Touching life or touching their spirit (calling on the Lord, praying the Word, singing in spirit)

Gathering together with other believers (the Lord's life always causing us to desire gathering together)

As parents, we should endeavor to bring our own children into each of the previous spiritual exercising based on the Lord's life within them.

Can we pray with our children in order to train them in being genuine, honest and open to the Lord?

Is our house a place where our children's friends can come over and realize we are "different" but so attractive as a family?

One major problem we face is the tendency to force Christ on our children without nurturing them ... the typical symptom is that we just leave it to the church serving ones.

Two years ago at "Summer School of Truth" (SST - a youth camp) my daughter touched her spirit for the first time. She was "beside herself" and enjoying the Lord. I know my daughter and I saw her touch the Lord.

During the year I prayed how she could do it again - my thoughts only led me to long for her to go back to the SST the next summer.

The next year at the SST the same thing happened - she touched her spirit in a strong way - the blessing was that I was there so I witnessed it. My son also touched his spirit even though he was only in fifth grade.

The Lord rebuked me - admonishing me to raise my children spiritually, not delegating that responsibility to the church and the serving ones.

I began to fellowship and pray with my wife - this took several months for her to join me in desiring to proactively do something with our children spiritually.

After about three months of telling the kids we would begin a "family time" and how important it was because of all the Lord has done for us - we had our first official family time.

The first time was a disaster! The kids were crazier than usual and out of control. My wife wanted me to yell at them, but I realized the need to cherish them into something of the Lord. I eventually did speak strongly but from the side that we need time together because we're a family and God has put us together for each other's benefit. They accepted that and settled down.

It took almost three months to cultivate the environment in which the children cooperated without feeling "too forced" - in other words, we NURTURED them rather than disciplined them (this is now 6 months after the Lord rebuked me).

We had no official format or agenda except to possibly sing and/or read some verses of the Bible together.

What "won" our children's hearts was the time we sang a song and they were joking around. I was about to "discipline" them and the Lord spoke to me - "go along with them" - this was the Lord's nurturing - we had a great time singing.

My son touched his spirit during a "family time" a few months later while reading a verse from the Bible. He read it strongly and emphatically without worrying what the rest of thought. I was pleasantly surprised and realized that the Lord is making progress.

I took my daughter to lunch and asked her about touching her spirit - two weeks later we prayed the Word together (pray-reading) and she was willing to lead a little.

Another time I wanted my son to go to the meeting hall and work. In the past I would have just forced him to go and listen to him complain and bother me about going home the entire time we're there. I prayed and the Lord gave me something to say. I asked him why he always wanted me to do certain things like bowling, movies, etc. with him. Eventually he admitted, "because I want to be with you." I told him that that was the reason I wanted him to go work with me at the meeting hall.

Touching life or touching their spirit (calling on the Lord, praying the Word, singing in spirit)

Gathering together with other believers (the Lord's life always causing us to desire gathering together)

I believe that if my children, who are young brothers and sisters in Christ, can do these things with me around, then they can touch the Lord anywhere and with anyone.

I also believe that I must be so much in the Lord's presence in order to know how to NURTURE my children rather than just discipline or admonish them in the things of the Lord. Nurturing is everything.

We must be so desperate before the Lord to NURTURE our children by cherishing them, nourishing them and developing them in the Lord.

We need every opportunity to pray for our children at home, with other saints and with those in the church who serve them.